Hello. . . long time no write. Yeah,
it’s been age since my Skripshit period, oh no.. Skripsweet (still doesn’t
match, does it?), Oke, just called it ‘Sweet Sorrow’ episode. Since that time,
I felt like loosing every inch of my will to write anything, anywhere. I almost
never update my social media account, even rarely write down what happen in my
life on a diary. Just go with the flow as time passed and it sorely horrible.
So here I am, try to figure out what’s
on my mind by write this note. Actually I lack of confident since I’m barely
write anything, kinda afraid that I lose my ability of it and can be my worst
of all. Plus this is the first time I write in English (well, note very first,
but perhaps in a proper way). So, I’ll warn you first, if you can’t stand with a
mess grammar, stop your reading activity here, right now. But if you could
understand it, I’m glad to have you as a reader (you can just tell me where’s
the mess and I’ll try to fix it).
After graduate, I really messed up my life with doing nothing. Particularly, in which activities like daily routine as a student, hanging out with friends and a simple thing like my usual habit: eat and sleep late. My mom insist to back me home because she found my badass habit. She hate everything that I do and called it ‘student disaster’ haha. My every normal just her opposite, because yeah, we life in different environment for years. Mom was right overall, but, who on earth will sleep before 10 p.m just to be able woke up early then do cleaning activity. In the first two weeks I feel like jailed by told which is wrong which is right. In short, my comfort zone has changed.
To be told what’s good or not when
you've been adult was kinda weird. But actually, you are the weirdo. Oke, not
you, it’s me. the condition become worse when I realize that I literally
jobless. Have no money to cheer myself up, bought a book or ate a nice food.
I'm a person who usually through the time with list to do, bumped into 'nothing
to do' condition. All I have just an unlimited free time where day by day
passed without taste. The worst part is when someone ask you, "What
exactly are you right now?". Snap!. My heart aching every time I heard
that. You know, it's really hard to face people when you're unemployment. Seems
like everyone try to pouring a salt on your wound with their question.
it about 3 months I've been like
that. What am I to do during that time? Well, sometimes I go to local library,
looking for books which suit my taste but unfortunately the good stock wasn't
as many as the library where I frequently visit. It sucks the way college
affect my ideal type of literature so much. I become picky and barely read a
popular and common literature such as teenlit or metropop. Basically, I hate a
plot where a girl become weird just because her lover leave out. Is love really
turn people become that dumb? And what I hate the most is a plot where the
women suffering a pregnancy time because
no one take care of her, in a nutshell, she has no husband. Gosh, who told her
for being madly in love without using any logical sense. It's not even make
sense as if there's no God in our heart. I logically sad whenever I read that
kind of story. Despite of going to the library, sometimes, no, it almost
everyday I read fanfiction of KPop idol. My ex housemate told me that there are
many good story in a few situs. First
time I read FF, I don't like it that much because the language was english
which torment me a lot, beside the story was kind of popular literature. It's a
paradox isn't it? I don't like popular literature but try to fix my displeasure
because I need something to read. Seems like God forced me to not too stick
with my ideal type and it's works. I've more appreciate all of literature
genres because, hey, can you even make one? It's not fair if I judge a story by
its genre.
To be continued...
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